Tag Archives: Self Care

Sophomore Year Recap

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If someone would have told me that we would be living with the current circumstances, I never would have believe them. Although these circumstances are not ideal, I believe the outcome can still be extremely powerful. How we all choose the react and handle what is going on is completely up to us. With that being said, I understand that everyone’s situation and experience regarding COVID-19 is different, therefore, there is not a specific way that an individual or group of people can go about this situation. Clearly, we all come from different backgrounds which means that everything going on right now impact everyone differently. The hard reality is that for some, this has been much easier to cope and handle, (being able to work remotely, continuing to be paid, having a SAFE place to live and “quarantine,” etc.), while for others, it has resulted in much harder and more severe cases (unemployment, inability to receive unemployment, mental health illness increase, diagnosis with nowhere safe to quarantine from others, death of a love one, etc.). It is very simplistic to say that we can all make light of this situation and it can be handled by taking very simple precautions. However, we do not live in a simplistic world. These matters are very complex and require folks to understand that their way of life is different from many, many others. This is what sophomore year has been teaching me.

Before coming into sophomore year, I was very ignorant to a lot of the topics that we have discussed in courses like PHL 118, COM 461, HST 221, CGL 145, and CGL 445. These courses have educated me on very important issues in our world, how to discuss them with others, and most importantly, how to take action in battling these issues (solidarity). I have never felt so educated, yet uneducated in my life. I’m learning so much and it makes me realize how much I do not know, and I love it. I can honestly say that I have never felt so passionate about education in my life after working with instructors like dr. jared halter, Dr. Elizabeth Carlson, Andy Blom, Shannon Jolliff, and others. These gritty dialogues, discussions, and sessions have turned into a burning passion of mine. I have fallen in love with not only fighting against the forms of oppression that I possess but also for other target/marginalized groups. The fight for others, in my opinion, is so empowering and humbling at the same time. But it’s not about me, it’s about them. I’ve grown such a passion for this work that I applied and been accepted to be a facilitator for CGL 145 and could not be more excited.

Coming into this year I was excited to be mentoring two fine young men!;) One of which I knew well from competing in track and field with since we were in the same conference and then also being able to come in a mentor someone completely knew that I had never met before! After working for a mentorship program over the summer and being absolutely humbled by the experience, I was very excited to continue in the role for others. My mentees are two awesome guys that I’ve loved getting to know and that I am very grateful for. Jackson and Luke have made my sophomore year very special and I am very excited to see how to these two grow over time and through their experiences at CMU!

This year I also experience a lot of changes on the track that have started to shape more of who I am. At the end of last year, I lost my event coach and it was very hard for our group to adjust to going into championship season. This year, having a new coach was a blessing. My coach is perfect for our group as a whole and myself individually. I am very grateful to him and our program for bringing in who I believe is one of the best coaches in the country. It has been amazing to have a coach who I can talk to about real things that don’t only consist of track but real life issues. (I’m just going to end it there on him because I could talk about my experiences with him for days).

This year I have faced many struggles of my own this year regarding mental health issues. I’m very grateful to my coach, RHD, and Tracy Castellon for assisting me through this time and getting me set up with the resources that I have. Through this, we decided the best course was to take on counseling and having me get set up with a service dog. So I now have a 4 month old service dog in-training that my sister, who trains military dogs (her foundation is 1 of 9 of the US Military’s vendors for dogs), police dogs, service dogs, therapy dogs, and normal house dogs, and I are working on training his together.

I am very grateful for what sophomore year has taught me and I am ready to take on the future.:))

RSO Involvement

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RSOs have a way of becoming some peoples’ lives. Although, my RSO is a little different, it still has taught me a lot and I look forward to what it will teach me in the future as well. Competing in a varsity sport at the Division 1 level is so much more intense than I could have ever thought. Between practicing for up to 20 hours a week, being enrolled in 15-18 credits, working a job, trying to have a social life, traveling half way across the country week after week and fulfilling any other outside commitments is more than a hassle. Our program and Central Michigan University is a combined men’s and women’s program IMG_9509with 4 assistant male coaches and a female head coach. The program has seen coaches that are national champions and Olympians, as well as producing a great number of All-Americans.

This RSO is teaching me a lot on how to deal with failure, frustration, disappointment and patience. This year was not anything that I had ever expected to be. It was much worse. So many things had just gone in the opposite direction that I wanted them to go. First of all, I didn’t set a personal best in a single event this year. Talk about frustration. Working my butt off all summer, doing everything my coach provided me with and more to see no positive outcomes from any of it is more than frustrating and disappointing. Putting my heart into everything I did, warm up, practice, weights, recovery, nutrition, academics.. Doing everything right and seeing no positive outcomes on the track is very upsetting.IMG_9513

Honestly, I cannot tell you a “Now What” from all of this. There is so much that has happened that has left me with so much disappointment for myself. The things I do know is that I will not give up. This may sound very cliche but this summer I will continue to work harder than I ever have, push myself somewhere where I have never been before and stay focused. I cannot and will not go through another year of failure, frustration and disappointment the way I have this year. I also know that this summer I will be seeking professional assistance to help me get break through these hard times that I am going through not only on the track but socially. This RSO is still teaching me so much about myself and that is why I will be seeking professional help this summer to help me discover what the reason behind all of this is and help me overcome some underlying magic as well. I have struggled a lot socially this last month, I have realized that and I am seeking help to overcome all of this. So hopefully in the future I have a story about how I overcame a very disappointing and upsetting time in my life so I can be there for other people who are going through something similar as I did so I can get them help as well.

 

LDR 200L Reflection

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This course had me very confused for about a month. I didn’t understand the flow for so long. Class began slowly syllabus week, as did every other class, then we got in to content but then class was cancelled multiple times during the horrible winter “bliss” we were so blessed to see, the syllabus was changed about six times.. I had nothing to feel other than confusion. However, this class was a turning point for me in the Leadership Institute. I began to feel more at home with my cohort, with the staff and in the LI in general. I began to feel a sense of belonging. The turning point was the day when Shamir spoke up in class and brought up a very hard topic to be discussed. The topic of minorities across the board being underrepresented in the Leadership Institute as well as on our campus. I am very proud of her for standing so boldly for what she believes in.

This for me was a call to action. Talking about it was no longer enough. Everyone is aware of the lack of diversity at Central Michigan University. This is no surprise since the school was founded as a “safe-white-school” where white students could attend and not feel threatened. After class I began talking with Nolan and Shamir. Slowly more and more people became interested once they saw us talking after class. For the love of the university, we want to see change, we want to see education, we want to see cultural inclusion. Our group is very grateful for everything that the LI has done since this day to encourage us by bringing in speakers and advisors to help us and guide us down this path of education and recruitment. We all have things to learn about each others  culture and to do this, we have to find people who are different from us and let them educate us. We must reach out to others and ask for their support through our ignorance. Ignorance is not always our fault; yet, we must still take responsibility and be vulnerable and go seek education on different cultures.

This group of students that has formed, plans to use models, approaches and guidance we have learned from this course to go out their, educate others and help give everyone and equal platform to get to be students on Central’s campus. This is an opportunity that everyone is given but not everyone is able to capitalize on due to lack of resources. Whether that is technology, counselors, family support, or whatever the case may be, our group wants to help people overcome these obstacles as much as a group of hungry students can. Another way of helping the environment of CMU’s campus is by educating people as much as possible on a day to day basis. Although challenging, it must be done, however, in a professional manner. It is key not to force information down someone else’s throat as well was putting someone else in too much of an uncomfortable setting. This group, through education and support of this course, plans to do great things to enhance the lives and culture at Central Michigan University.

LDR 100 Reflection

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Push. If I were to use one word to describe Leadership 100, it would be push. This class for me was a struggle. It required me to have to push through things that perhaps only few others did as well. These reasons that I had to push were normal reasons for someone, especially in their freshman year, to go through. The reasons why I had to push in this class were simple but still valid. The first was because I lived all the way across campus, so physically, somedays, I literally had to push myself out of bed or out of the door or out of practice to walk to Powers from East Campus. Simple but a true immature, freshman struggle. The second reason was time. I felt like I never had time to go to this class because of the time commitment to get in mandatory study hours through athletics, practice times, as well as studying for the 16 other credits that I was in. The third and final reason also had to do with me living away from the cohort. I felt a disconnect from the group. Everyone was beginning to get closer as I was only spending an hour with them each week.

The pushing I had to do in this class was very hard and a struggle at first. I didn’t understand why I was put in this place of struggle (although I never do during it), but I knew I had to be patient in it. Although it was very upsetting and frustrating, I’m happy for everything I was going through at the time. For reason one: This struggle helped me with pushing to go to all of my classes, whether I enjoyed them or not, because it’s why I’m here: to go to class and get educated. For the second reason: This exhausting schedule  helped to prepare me for future busy schedules. It taught me how to communicate with professors, advisors and coaches when I’m feeling flustered and need a break somewhere. Finally, for the third reason: Although I didn’t get to live with the cohort and missed out on loads of fun and memories, after time, more and more people saw the disconnect and more and more people invited me into their groups.

This time forced me to reach out to other people and seek help. It pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I’ve never had a problem communicating with people (obviously since one of my strengths is woo) but I have always had a problem with asking for help and telling people that I am struggling. This course, although not through direct content, taught me a lot about myself. This class was not challenging and did not require a lot of intelligence but it was more educating on getting to know yourself and the cohort. I learned about my strengths and have been educated on how to use them in day to day interactions to enhance leadership, relationships with people, as well as serving people. Learning all these different things about myself, I plan to use them all to build up others as well as myself wherever need be.

Connections Conference

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Connections was an experience far different than I had expected. I truthfully had many mixed emotions about going. It was a very difficult time in the semester where I was losing motivation, we had just recently switched to a new/harder training cycle on the track, and I felt distant from my people in LAS. This event took place at the Great Wolf Lodge in Traverse City. The only thing that made me at ease going into this excursion was that one of my fifth year teammates (Shane Moffo) had committed to going as well. IMG_8803

When I had arrived to Powers to get on the bus, my perspective had already completely changed. Addam Claes and Mike Torres were so welcoming of me and it was very fun. Unfortunately after we got off the bus we found out we weren’t rooming together, but very fortunately I found out that I was rooming with Nolan! Nolan is a person that makes everyone feel welcomed into the group. Before I knew it, things were back to normal and I was comfortable with my LAS people. I was very excited to spend time with them at meals and during free-time at the water park, and late night. This experience was like no other when I say I was able to meet so many new people and make so many new connections. Everything we did, I felt like I was able to get closer to more and more people, which I am very thankful for. T.O. and I having previously knowing each other because we’re both from Muskegon also made me feel very comfortable, was very inviting, and helped me to meet many new people.IMG_8805

My favorite part of the conference was listening to the different speakers. They open your eyes to many new things that you might never have thought of on your own. For example, in Steely’s message about Disney characters that show leadership qualities, those are things as a kid you never think of but when someone shows you you connect yourself to them more and want to lead in ways like them. An example of this is Mulan. Mulan was a movie I enjoyed a lot growing up but I never knew why. After the session with Steely, I understood it was because Mulan and I both are very similar. Stubborn, optimistic, and willing to do whatever it takes to stand up for what is right. This session helped me remind myself of some of my core values. Faith: Mulan trusted her ancestors with a confidence that I have for my God. Vulnerability: She put herself out there even when people were against her. Lastly, grit: she was determined to do what was right no matter if the people were with her or against her. This was just a reminder to myself of how I am to be leading those around me and how to stay composed in times of difficulty. This experience really helped me finish my semester in a very strong way that I might not have been able to do without it.IMG_8807