RSOs have a way of becoming some peoples’ lives. Although, my RSO is a little different, it still has taught me a lot and I look forward to what it will teach me in the future as well. Competing in a varsity sport at the Division 1 level is so much more intense than I could have ever thought. Between practicing for up to 20 hours a week, being enrolled in 15-18 credits, working a job, trying to have a social life, traveling half way across the country week after week and fulfilling any other outside commitments is more than a hassle. Our program and Central Michigan University is a combined men’s and women’s program with 4 assistant male coaches and a female head coach. The program has seen coaches that are national champions and Olympians, as well as producing a great number of All-Americans.

This RSO is teaching me a lot on how to deal with failure, frustration, disappointment and patience. This year was not anything that I had ever expected to be. It was much worse. So many things had just gone in the opposite direction that I wanted them to go. First of all, I didn’t set a personal best in a single event this year. Talk about frustration. Working my butt off all summer, doing everything my coach provided me with and more to see no positive outcomes from any of it is more than frustrating and disappointing. Putting my heart into everything I did, warm up, practice, weights, recovery, nutrition, academics.. Doing everything right and seeing no positive outcomes on the track is very upsetting.

Honestly, I cannot tell you a “Now What” from all of this. There is so much that has happened that has left me with so much disappointment for myself. The things I do know is that I will not give up. This may sound very cliche but this summer I will continue to work harder than I ever have, push myself somewhere where I have never been before and stay focused. I cannot and will not go through another year of failure, frustration and disappointment the way I have this year. I also know that this summer I will be seeking professional assistance to help me get break through these hard times that I am going through not only on the track but socially. This RSO is still teaching me so much about myself and that is why I will be seeking professional help this summer to help me discover what the reason behind all of this is and help me overcome some underlying magic as well. I have struggled a lot socially this last month, I have realized that and I am seeking help to overcome all of this. So hopefully in the future I have a story about how I overcame a very disappointing and upsetting time in my life so I can be there for other people who are going through something similar as I did so I can get them help as well.